No Problem Mon

I was blessed with the opportunity to return to Jamaica the week before Thanksgiving. The purpose of the trip was similar to the one I took in May, but this time the team was bigger and we were hoping to perform at least a couple of the surgeries we were unable to perform last time (well the surgeons performed them, not me).  The trip was also different in while it was planned further in advance, up until the day before the trip, I wasn’t sure if I was really supposed to go. With the trip in May, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God orchestrated it so I could go. But this trip was different. Originally, I said no because I was already taking vacation in October and didn’t know if I had enough PTO to take off again in November. Around September, I received a call saying that they still didn’t have any physical therapists to go and is there any way I could make it work? I said I’d look into it. I knew it was something I should pray about, but somehow I never got around to it. I looked at my available PTO, did a little math, and discovered that I’d have enough to go on the trip, so I said yes. I told everyone in my small group at church that I’d be going back again, I told all my friends about this great trip I’d be taking, and told all my patients and their families the week before I left that I was going down to Jamaica to do medical outreach. I told everyone how excited I was, but even up until the morning of our departure, something didn’t feel right.  I tried not to let me anxiety and stress show, so I did my best to suppress it and put on a smile.

            

The night before and the day of our departure was an adventure in itself. I received a phone call Saturday night explaining that our 6:15am flight was cancelled and the next available flight wouldn’t get us to Miami in time to make our connection to Kingston. The trip organizer was on the phone with the airline for an hour trying to figure out how to get us somewhere on the island in time for the surgeries that were scheduled Monday morning. Around 11pm, we were told to meet at the airport at 6:00am to take a flight to Atlanta to make a connection for Montego Bay. Nine out of the ten team members got the message, but no one could get a hold of team member #10. We arrived in Montego Bay by early afternoon but got held up in customs because the paperwork to bring in the necessary drugs and medical equipment was ready for us in Kingston, not Montego Bay. Once we were given clearance for the supplies, we took a 3-hour van ride through fern gully, a winding road that took us through the heart of the island. It was probably very beautiful during the day, but was a little scary at night. At one point I woke up from a cat nap thinking I was still on the airplane. It felt like we were just coming in to land, but when I opened my eyes, we were actually just stopping at a red light. We arrived in Kingston around 9pm, just in time for ice cream before heading to the hotel. My roommate and I were able to settle into bed around 11pm and minutes after turning off the lights, heard someone trying to get into our room. Through the peephole, I saw team member #10 had arrived safely after an equally adventurous travel day of her own.

           

On the trip down to Jamaica, our team was scattered throughout the plane, so I had the opportunity to spend a little quiet time with God. I was honest and brought to Him my uneasy feeling surrounding the trip. As I reflected on some things we discussed in my women’s Bible study and my thoughts and actions in the week preceding the trip, God revealed how prideful I’d been. I’d been telling everyone about the trip so they would think I was a great person doing great things. I left God out of it, the giver of great things. I left Him out of the decision making process, out of the preparation process, out of the motivation for the trip, and my faith in His provision for the trip faltered. I endured undue stress and anxiety because I tried to do things on my own, hoping that I would be glorified through the work I was doing. During my quiet time that morning, I was able to repent of my pride and experience the peace and freedom only God can provide. I was also able to pray for each of the team members and the kids we were about to meet, inviting God to bless the work we were about to do. And I allowed God to work through me, remembering each day, that this trip, this work is not about me. I am merely a conduit of God’s love to those who are orphaned, hurting, sick or lost. He has given me unique gifts to bring His message of love and hope to those who need it most, but if I focus on how great those gifts are, I lose sight of the Giver and the incredible blessings that He gives through those gifts. 

            

I’ve often marveled at my ability to struggle with pride and insecurity all at the same time because to me they seem like opposite problems. But what I’m learning is that both stem from a me-centered perspective. God calls us to live with a different perspective. Have you ever seen the acronym JOY? Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. You start by praising and glorifying Christ for what He accomplished on the cross. Then, He equips you to see others how He sees them and challenges you to love them like He does.  Then you experience blessings beyond what you could ever imagine. Our knee-jerk reaction is to take care of ourselves first, be independent, and self-sufficient. But we weren’t created to work that way. We were created to be dependent on one another. The blessings come from the relationships and the give-and-take we share with those around us. Had I continued to focus on the good work I was doing, I would have missed the good work my team was doing and the blessing of seeing each individual use the talent God has given them to improve the quality of a child’s life. I would have missed the smile and laughter each child offered as a gift to focus instead on the problems they had that I thought could fix. I would have continued to worry that I was going to do something wrong and second guess every decision I made, missing out on the peace and freedom God offered to enjoy the work that I was doing.

            

The trip turned out to be an amazing experience despite our adventurous start. The kids were worked with were adorable, the families we worked with displayed so much gratitude toward us, and I came back enriched by the new friends I had made. At the end of the trip, we had the opportunity to soak up some of the beauty of the island by making our way up the mountain to where coffee is grown. The reward for our hike up to the lookout point was the type of breathtaking that can’t fully be captured through pictures. It’s amazing what a little change in perspective will do for appreciating the places God takes you in life.