This morning I didn’t plan on sprinting through the airport as the overhead page called my name for final boarding call. Before the sprinting commenced, it was a morning full of hurry up and wait, hurry to validate my passport, followed by a long wait to drop off my checked bag, then hurry to the end of the security line that spanned from door 6 to door 3 only to wait in another long line before I could enter the terminal. It was once I finally cleared security that my name was called and I was still at least 4 moving walkways away from the gate. I ran faster than I had at 6am since soccer practice in college, arriving sweaty and breathless just before they closed the cabin door. And now here I sit, for a 6 hour layover, and I think after 3 hours in I have finally caught my breath.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on my life recently, the times of hurry and the times of waiting. The year that I turned 30 was amazing, going almost according to plan. I went on some incredible trips, spent a lot of time with people I care about doing really fun things, like using a chop saw and nail gun to remodel our cabin, and stepped out of my comfort zone and into the unknown waters of online dating. It was a whirlwind of a year and before I knew it, I had turned 31. The magical year had ended quicker than I anticipated, revealing unexpressed expectations I had placed on myself and what I thought the year would bring. Truth be told, I was hoping online dating would lead to real life dating, but alas, it was not to be.
For a season of life, I heard God telling me to wait when it came to dating. It’s not that I was refusing dates, but I was not pursuing them. It was a paradoxical time of loving my independence and longing for a partner to share the journey with. It was a time of refining, learning to rely on God for my strength, identity, and value. As Andy Stanley would say, I focused on becoming the person I’m looking for is looking for by seeking God first and trusting Him through the process. I had gotten in a rhythm, comfortable with that season of life. So when the season began to change, I didn’t trust it and questioned the message I was receiving. When I returned from Guatemala, it was clear that I knew how God communicated with me and when I step out and obey, cool things happen. So my season of waiting officially transitioned into a season of action and I hurriedly signed up for online dating. I thought the cherry on top of a stellar year would be to meet an incredible guy, or two, with potential to be a happily ever after. When the year transitioned and my dating subscription ended, I was disappointed but learned some very important things.
Here is what I know to be true: God is good. I am blessed to serve a faithful God who is never late, even if His time table is different from my own. I know that He is able to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine according to His power that is at work in me. I know that though the outcome of my obedience was not what I had hoped for, there was purpose in the process and He will use it and is using it to strengthen my faith and give me hope for the future. I know that my life is not my own, I have surrendered it to Him. With that surrender my life is in His hands fully and completely, whether in the United States or traveling to another part of the world, whether single, dating or married, whether waiting in line or sprinting through the airport. I am a daughter of the most high king of heaven, and I am blessed.
