It’s
funny how our plans change sometimes. For example, today my plan was to run
errands, get my oil changed, stop by the bank, and pick up some things at the
grocery store. However, I woke up this morning to a small blizzard and my plans changed. Instead I decided to stay in my warm, cozy apartment, drink coffee, and write this post. I have
a perfect view of the swirling snowflakes outside my window without the stress
of fighting traffic, slippery roads, and all the layers of clothes required to
block the chilly wind. Truth be told, I’m rather enjoying my change in plans.
A
couple weekends ago, I had the opportunity to share my faith story at church.
For those of you unfamiliar with a faith story, each week, our church invites
one of its members to share what God has done or is doing in their lives. It
was a really cool experience because while I’ve talked about my faith with
individuals, I’ve never actually declared my faith in front of a large group of
people. I’ve had experience presenting at conferences for different topics having
to do with physical therapy so I was surprised with the amount of anxiety I
experienced surrounding the weekend and sharing my story. God is so faithful. I
was originally scheduled to share my story a different weekend but it was
rescheduled. I was then told instead of 5 minutes to share, I would have 3, so
the story I submitted needed to be cut. Through the editing process, God
prompted me to write a whole new story. Much of my anxiety surrounding my story
was that is was incomplete and insignificant. How could I explain the impact
God has had in my life in 3 minutes or less? But God absolutely knew what he
was doing. The sermon series I shared during was supposed to start the week
before, but was postponed because of extreme cold. Not only did the story fit
with the sermon for the day I shared, but when the pastor prayed for me after I
finished, he filled in some of the gaps I thought I missed after the story was
re-written.
I
had a request to post the faith story here for those who didn’t get to see it in
person, so here it is!
Like many kids who grow up in a loving, Christian home, I
accepted the love and forgiveness of Jesus at a young age. I grew up going to
Church on Sundays and youth group on Wednesdays, learning early on the
importance of reading my Bible, praying, and memorizing Bible verses. By the time I got to high school, I was
pretty sure I had God figured out.
I had a variety of friends, did well in school and athletics, and made
good life choices. Of course I experienced trials: a few knee surgeries, the
death of my grandmother, disagreements with friends, and break-ups with
boyfriends. But once removed from
the situation, I could see the purpose God had for each experience. When I was
accepted to Belmont University and earned a spot on the soccer team I felt that
was where God was calling me to go. I thought I knew the good things God had in
store when I made the right choices, so I obediently left home for the great
unknown.
My college experience wasn’t at all what I expected it would
be. I did my best to make good choices, standing firm in my convictions, but
the good results I expected did not happen! In fact, I experienced some difficult things and I almost
transferred back home after a particularly hurtful incident with my teammates. I felt ostracized and misunderstood by
people I believed were going to be my closest friends. I became someone I didn’t even
recognize. Instead of defending
myself, I withdrew, becoming quiet, reserved, and unsure how to relate to
people. The vision I had of what
my college experience would be like slowly faded, leaving me broken and
confused, yet clinging to the promise that God still had something good for me.
I
stayed at Belmont, graduated and then returned home to pursue a degree and career
in physical therapy. In the years that followed, God began the healing process,
putting me back together stronger and more reliant on Him than I ever was
before college. Early last year I sustained a concussion that resulted in
extended time off work. During that time, God began to reveal the good He
intended in my college experience. He reconnected me with friends from school,
and even showed me how he had worked through me in their lives. He also taught me that there is
freedom in surrender. I am learning that I am not capable of controlling what
happens, no matter how many good choices I make. He wants so much more for me than athletic prowess and
popularity. He wants me to come to
him and know him because to know him is not only good, it is best. What I
thought I knew about God paled in comparison to actually knowing God. Jeremiah
29:11-13 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans
to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then
you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You
will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
The
funny thing about plans not turning out how we expect, is that what actually
happens is usually better. I will never regret my choice in college because I
met some amazing people and made relationships that are still important to me
today, even though there are many miles between us. Even the difficult
relationships, the misunderstandings, and the times of loneliness taught me
important lessons about myself, humanity, and God, shaping me into the person I
am today. Though I may have plans and dreams that have not come to fruition, though
I may still struggle with doubt and uncertainties, I know I can trust what God
is doing. The blessing of life in him flows from His abounding love and
compassion that is lavished on us when we turn and seek him with our whole
hearts.
“Trust in the
Lord with all your heart,
and
lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways
acknowledge him,
and
he will make your paths straight.”
~Proverbs 3:5,6
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